Cats, Dogs, and WHAT?!? (Fantasy Fiction)

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Re: Cats, Dogs, and WHAT?!? (Fantasy Fiction)

Post  kenz580 on Wed Feb 01, 2012 9:34 am

I know, I wrote this on my iPod so couldn't really edit it. Don't worry it looks like that on purpose. I'll fix it when I have time. XD

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Re: Cats, Dogs, and WHAT?!? (Fantasy Fiction)

Post  reeniebear99 on Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:24 pm

So far, it's really good! Except for the fact that it's a huge block of text. All monolog, or what people say, has its own line. So, If I may edit a little? =3
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Cats, Dogs, and WHAT?!? (Fantasy Fiction)

Post  kenz580 on Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:54 am

"You've got to be kidding me," Delmi said seriously looking into her parent's eyes, "We're seriously gonna move from Germany to America?!? Come on! That's like across the Atlantic Ocean!" Delmi's eyes were pleading, "I can't just leave! I have school, sports, not to mention the family secret!" Delmi's parents sighed heavily, "You've got to understand, this is for the best. Pack up whatever you want, we're leaving tomorrow." Delmi looked at her parents in disbelief, "I can't believe you!"
She stomped upstairs to her bedroom grabbing a suitcase, actually three... She smacked them on her bed and let a really long sigh out of her mouth, she was moving. What fun. Delmi went to her closet and started grabbing her favorite outfits. Whatever she didn't like there was no point in bringing it because she would never wear it. She packed everything from her closet in three suitcases and had a difficult time closing them. Her mom came up to her bedroom, "Sweetie, whatever you fit in those suitcases we bring with us. The rest is just shipped to us, it will most likely arrive ahead of us unless there is a delay of some sort." 
Delmi sighed, "Mom, I get it. No need to freak out," she stated plainly. Delmi's mother nodded and left the room. Delmi continued packing her most wanted things, when she was finished she had all her important things from her bathroom, bedroom, and any other place you could think of. Delmi sighed shutting the last suitcase, her room looked empty as the movers or packers or whatever you want to call them had already taken everything else out. Well, at least the move would be easier because she didn't have any friends. Delmi sighed for like the hundredth time that day and went downstairs to see her parents waiting for her.


(So... I want to know what you people think....)

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Re: Cats, Dogs, and WHAT?!? (Fantasy Fiction)

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